Life, As I See It

I think it only fair to let readers know the current relationship I am in was found online.  (And so was the last one, but that’s a story for another time.)  But this one was different.  Sam was a man of few words.  He used the dating site to introduce himself to me, and to initiate a few emails, but that was about it.  He wanted to meet – right then, right at that moment.  He didn’t care to spend weeks communicating and building a connection that might fall to pieces when we met face-to-face.

Was I scared?  You betcha!  Even though the website where we met was tailored specifically to our likes, that’s no guarantee you’ll find each other attractive, or even acceptable.

But I was just not really into it.  Or him, I guess.  I wanted to meet him – he was deadly handsome and sexy in his photos.  But somehow I think I found it easier (safer?) to email for weeks before venturing into the live world of real dating.

For two months, I cancelled plans with him – lunch, beach day, coffee.  I just couldn’t find it in me to go.  By this time, I believe he decided he should look elsewhere.  Then my friend Lisa said to me, “Look at him – are you crazy? He’s gorgeous! You have to go!”

So I called him.  Let’s do lunch during the week, I suggested.  He agreed.  He named the place (a really nice cafe at a nearby resort) and time. And I was a nervous wreck.

I went to meet him and recognized him right away.  His hair was longer than I thought, and he was shorter than I had imagined.  But oh that smile!  He had me at “hello” – almost.

I was so nervous, I’d broken out in a rash.  And I was sweating as if I’d just run a marathon.  How incredibly embarrassing for our first meeting!  But he was unfazed.  And in the middle of a conversation, leaning close to each other and laughing, he gently blotted my forehead with a napkin.  This man had potential.

We made plans to go out that weekend – three days from then.  We met at my place.  He brought me plumeria blossoms picked from the tree in his yard.   We laughed, we kissed, we jumped straight into bed.

At this point I thought this man could only be about sex.  How could such a handsome wonderful man really want a relationship with me when he could have anyone he wanted?  So, I decided to keep my heart in check on this one.  Besides, truth be told, it had been over a year since I’d last had sex, and prior to that, three years of a sexless relationship (the other story for another time).

I was pleasantly surprised when, week after week, he was consistent in seeing me and making plans for us to be together.  And the first time he held my face in his hands and stared into my eyes through candlelight and said, with no hesitation whatsoever, “I love you Kina” — oh, angels from heaven couldn’t have said a sweeter more meaningful thing to me.

And that was the moment I fell in love with the man I met online.

Yes, we’ve had issues in our relationship; yes we’ve had some close calls.  But mostly we have laughter and fun and wonderful passionate lovemaking.  All this, two years later.

Building an online relationship can be wonderful and amazing – there’s nothing quite like that connection you build with someone who can bare themselves in an email.  But I have to say, considering all the roller-coasters and uncertainties of staying “online” – always afraid to take it live – I think I’d rather jump right in the way Sam took us.

Yeah – I’d definitely say live is better than any email could ever be.